Leaving a Matter of Doubt

Bismillah hir Rahman nir Raheem.
As-salaamu 'alaykum wa rahmatullahi wa barakathu...

Hope you're all in the best of health and imaan, using your every moment in the manner most pleasing to Allah subhaanahu wa ta 'aala, avoiding any matter in which there is the slightest doubt and embracing all that will draw you near to Allah 'azza wa jal, our true Desire and Love.

Alhamdulillah rabbil 'aalameen, I've had a realization.

A few days ago I was suddenly overcome and I spewed out a really intense lecture at someone about how important it is to avoid any act in which there's the slightest bit of doubt because it simply isn't worth taking that risk: because ultimately when you're deciding between taking or leaving some matter wherein there is doubt, you're generally deciding between harming or benefitting your relationship with Allah jalla jalaaluh. Considering the fact that the purpose of our existence is to remember, worship and love Allah it would be profoundly unwise to take on anything in which there is a strong chance of fitna occuring, as such an act could ultimately veil the heart and increase one in their distance from Allah 'azza wa jal. Is that a chance worth taking?

I realized that by blogging I was doing just that. I was walking a very thin line on the edge of disaster and, not surprisingly, I fell over on more than one occasion. In my blogs I was revealing a great deal of information about myself that I would normally never tell any non-mahram brother. The nature of a global community is that people will see what you put on here, so it's guaranteed that sisters and brothers will be viewing my blog. Essentially by speaking my heart out on here, I may as well be sitting in a crowded cafeteria with a table full of brothers and sisters telling them the very same things I was writing here, winking and giggling for added effect. That is the truth. You can hide behind as many screennames and passwords as you'd like, but effectively you're opening yourself up to the opposite gender in manners that we simply should not being doing so. Anything I say in my blog I should be ready to walk up to a brother in my university and say the very same thing to him, so long as the shari'ah allows it. Does it? For a lot of the things I wrote it certainly does not.. especially considering the circumstances, ie it being entirely unecessary.

Think about it plainly.... do you think Rasul Allah salAllahu 'alayhi wasallim would have had a blog? Astaghfirullah. I'm sure your heart cringed when you read that... of course he wouldn't have. One could say, "Oh... to do da'wah to the global community," in which case I'd say doubtfully, "maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe." But would he sit down and type up a lengthy post on who came over today, what classes he taught today, what he's worried about regarding the upcoming semester/year, what he bought today, where he went today etc, etc, etc? No. He simply would not have. I don't think he would have even told Abu Bakr radiAllahu 'anh, his dearest and most close companion, about most -if not all- of these things. He salAllahu 'alayhi wasallim probably wouldn't have even thought about them, let alone write them down (if he could write), let alone approach some ghayr sister and start telling her about them. I mean, astaghfirullah... really, reflect upon it.

And sisters... my dear sisters... you're too precious. You really are. Of the things of this world RasulAllah salAllahu 'alayhi wasallim loved women. He loved you and I for something unbelievably special we have. Allah subhaanahu wa ta 'aala, Possesor of the most Perfect and Beautiful Attributes, chose two particular attributes to remind us of constantly. "Ar-Rahmaan, Ar-Raheem." He is so unimaginably Merciful.. His Mercy outstrips His Wrath, He's saving 99 parts of His Mercy for that fateful Day, the Mercy He showers upon us every moment of every day is incomprehensible.. and this quality is so beloved that He chose to remind us of it again and again and again. The words Ar-Rahmaan and Ar-Raheem stem from the root "raa haa meem" which make "raham" which means "womb."

SubhaanAllah sisters, reflect upon this! We have been created with this sacred container within us, worthy of holding a little human life, fresh from the presence of Allah, still unpolluted by the fitna of this realm... and this container is the root of the rahm which naturally pours from us as women... Allah subhaanahu wa ta 'aala has given us this quality of His. Just part of the package of being female. (And what a beautiful gift.) He has bestowed upon us this attribute which from Him we will be longing for on the Day of Judgment, this beautiful quality worthy of the status of being mentioned before almost every surah in Kalaamullah, the Holy Qur'an.... And for this dear and sweet quality Rasul Allah salAllahu 'alayhi wasallim loves us. What an honour......

Why am I saying this? Because I want you, sisters, to realize how precious you are... how priceless you are. So don't sell yourself short. Live up to the status the Qur'an and Sunnah have given us. If we are told not to talk unecessarily to brothers, it's for a reason. It's to protect that sweetness within us, that purity, that barakah.... Sisters, whether you're married or unmarried, don't talk freely with brothers. Don't reveal yourself to them when that precious self was created to be shared only with your mahrams. If you're married, don't you want to stay pure for your husband? And if you're not married, which is the vast majority of sisters who read this, don't you want to be completely untarnished for your future husband? Don't you want to be untouched, unglanced upon, unspoken to so that you're entirely his and have not already been processed by another?

I noticed something a little while back which makes me sad. I rarely receive comments from certain sisters who I know read my blog, which I don't mind at all... but then I happened upon a few brothers' blogs and found their comment boxes overflowing with comments from those very sisters. It didn't bother me that they commented there rather than here, but it hurt me deeply to see the manner in which they commented to a brother, and in such a public forum. Sisters, it's not necessary.... in fact it's hurting you, whether you know it or not. Taking poison knowingly or unknowingly doesn't matter... it's still poison. Look at the sunnah- Rasul Allah salAllahu 'alayhi wasallim would either say something of benefit, or he'd stay silent. And he was silent most of the time. SubhaanAllah. If he salAllahu 'alayhi wasallim, who has the most beneficial of things to say -faaaaaaaaaaaar more beneficial than anything we could say- would stay silent most of the time, what could we possibly have to say that's more important than him such that we feel the need to comment so often? And to a brother?

I know that some of you reading this know exactly what I mean... dispell those thoughts in your mind which are adamantly declaring, "well it's ok because this, and I'm only doing it because that." Those aren't from you. That justification is from shaytaan. That's not from you. You're purer than that, you're better than that, you're more beloved to Rasul Allah salAllahu 'alayhi wasallim than that. Don't reduce yourself to a status lower than the one Allah subhaanahu wa ta 'aala wants to raise you to. You have it in your heart, you've tasted that sweetness... cling on to it, and shed the weight of anything which is going to hold you back from getting more.

And, brothers, this all applies to you too. You can't clap with one hand. Help us behave as we should by behaving as such as well. And don't sell yourself short. You, too, have the potential to be amazing. I mean, look at your role models: Rasul Allah salAllahu 'alayhi wasallim, the sahaba radiAllahu 'anhum... even the 'ulema and awilyaa of today. You can emobody the sunnah in ways sisters never could. What a blessing... what a beautiful gift. Take advantage of that and excel.

I must apologize now, as I'm sure I've offended some people.. such is the nature of haqq. Still, if I've said anything wrong or in an inappropriate manner I would be honoured and grateful if you would correct me.

Insha'Allah from now on my blog will no longer be a blog, but rather I'll post here reminders and reflections of benefit (insha'Allah) based on things I've noticed or experienced, or I'll post things I've read which I find beautiful or helpful or effective in anyway... But insha'Allah nothing personal... no personal stories... no personal thoughts. Those are for Allah, and the people He's given me to share them with in a halaal manner : )

May Allah subhaanahu wa ta 'aala grant us the tawfiq to abandon anything displeasing to Him and embrace all that is beloved to Him. May He adorn us inwardly and outwardly with the sunnah of His beloved messenger salAllahu 'alayhi wasallim and may He make His Pleasure our only goal and desire. Ameen.

Note: All my previous blogs have been editted for things that were personal or gave away something about myself which non-mahrams have no reason to know.